Malika Kapoor

Things I wish I knew before entering 20’s

I am in my mid 20’s and I had to learn some of the life lessons hard way. Every human being has to face their own struggles, in the same way, everyone has to find their own way to learn their survival tricks. The motto of this blog is to help readers by sharing my experiences so at least they don’t repeat mistakes I made. I will try my best to be as detailed as possible.

  1. Agreeing to do things you do even if you want to say “NO”

Whenever our boss asks us to do overtime and complete his work so he can leave early, even if you had your plans or when our crush asks us to do their homework/chaos because they were too busy to do something else or when we do stuff just to fit in a cool, famous group. We all have been there. We just couldn’t say “NO”. Either we are afraid of seniority, we want to get noticed or to just fit in the society, we do stuff which we don’t actually want to do. By not saying NO, we are simply letting them use us over and over again and giving them the authority to take you for granted. Agreeing to everything you don’t wish to do; doesn’t make you cool or wanted. I’m not asking you to be rude but if you don’t stand for your self-esteem, who will?

  1. Don’t force Relationships

Sometimes, we like someone so much that they become an important part of our life, their presence makes us happy and complete, but it’s not necessary they feel the same way about us. It’s sad but it’s true. Not everyone in your life is here to stay. Wherever you go extra miles for someone so like you back or accept you, you lose a piece of self-confidence. Set them free. Trust me, you are better without them. A forced relationship or friendship never lasts long.

  1. Confidence is the key

Confidence can get you anywhere you want. I cannot emphasize more on this line. It provides protection to face challenges. It’s important to know the difference between Self-confidence and ego. Being fake confident causes a lot of problems. If you have confidence, people look up to you and it gives you a strong sense of leadership.

  1. Travel more often

People around the world are quite different. The way they live, they behave and their beliefs. When you travel, you meet new people. You learn different cultures, different languages and most importantly you learn to deal with all kinds of people. Traveling helps you improve your patience, self-confidence, courage, budget management and you start embracing your mistakes.

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness”-Mark Twain

  1. Read more books

Things we learn in school are not enough. Not even close to enough. If we build the habit of reading self-improvement books, it boosts our motivation, increases financial knowledge and positively affects our behaviour. It also improves vocabulary, boosts mood, helps you relax, and improves your writing skills.

  1. Good grades are not going to give you a job

Our whole life our parents, teachers and society force us to score good grades. I agree good grades are important for applying for university. But good grades don’t guarantee you a good job. For a job you need to have practical knowledge, confidence and a decent knowledge of dealing with people.

  1. Don’t take things for granted

When we are young, we feel we have time, hence we start taking family, friends, relationships, careers, etc. for granted. But that’s not always the case. When we grow up, we wish we could spend more time with people we love or should have done something about our career, because now it’s too late.

  1. Learn how to manage your money

Being young we don’t think much about saving. We spend money on parties or buying stuff which you aren’t actually going to use. When you start saving you can design a life, by planning your future. When you start planning you can escape debts, your retirement won’t scare you, you can invest and earn, and you can spend money on things which make you happy.

  1. Set life goals

A life without a goal means a path without destiny. To add meaning to our life we need to plan out how we want to design our life path by setting life goals. When you set your life goal, you can achieve faster results, increase self-confidence, positivity, improve decision making, increase focus, give life some kind of motive and reduce stress.

  1. Social media doesn’t matter

Social media attacks your self-confidence. Seeing filtered pictures, relationships and life, we start comparing our healthy life and crush our own self-esteem. We don’t know what exactly happens behind the scene but still, it causes insecurities. Sometimes, social media influences us to buy stuff that actually we don’t want. Social media also discourage actual friendships, relationships and steal real conversation.

Always remember, Comparison kills joy.

 

20’s is actually quite a weird age. Some of our friends are either married, some are expecting or having children, some are at the top of their game and some have no clue what they are doing with their own life. You doubt your ability and feel vulnerable all the time. No matter what phase you are at, I just want you to know, you are doing great.

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